In order to understand my perspective on things, perhaps it is important to first understand something about my background, my context, my experiences.
I was born in 1978 of a Georgian mother and something in between a Belarussian and apparently Udmurtian father (Udmurtian Republic).
Having growing up between 2 quite different cultures (Russian (more Europian) and Georgian (Oriental) , I have learned to understand and accept the differences as they are. I have learned to ask questions before drawing conclusions and have respect for the different approaches, rather than promote one and completely disregard a different one.
In Georgia, I was growing up in a small town, called Poti. Well, Poti was one of the biggest harbors of Georgia, so it wasn't really that small, but everything is relative. I loved the friendly, proud, and incredibly hospitable Georgian people while growing up. Black sea, never farther away than 20 minutes walk, warm, even hot summers, palm trees, fig trees, orange trees, magnolia's, and all the other tropical trees you can imagine: sunny, blue skies, spicy food and the tastiest bread in the whole world! How I miss having all of this every day of my life! And that was Georgia, I grew up in.
At the same time I detested a high pace, unpersonal, unfriendly and often incredibly cold life in St. Petersburg, Russia. Yet, when I was staying in Georgia with my aunt, I missed my parents (who worked in Russia, had shorter holidays and didn't stay with me in Georgia all the time). But I also missed all the great museums, opera's,  theaters, galleries, huge squares, in short the grandeur of St. Petersburg, I've come to appreciate at a very young age. Thus, while growing up, I was torn between a warm and  relaxed life in sunny Georgia and all the cultural life of St. Petersburg. This fact has probably made me realize at a very early age that you can't have them both. Missing something or some one is a part of life. It's not necessarily bad, it is not something you have to change. It is just something you can learn to live and deal with. It has caused me no trauma, I do not hate the world or life because of this fact, I simply learned to appreciate life, every moment of it, every little success. And yet, I have also learned to get the best out of my life, for life is too short to waste it.
In 1991 a civil war breaks in Georgia, and reaches the western regions of Georgia by 1993. Poti is situated in Western Georgia, and it was a strategic military target. In the summer of 1993 I have therefore left Georgia for good, taking my 2 aunts and their children (3 girls of the age from 4 till 6) with me. They found temporary shelter with me, my sister and my mother in our 3 room appartment in St. Petersburg (my father died a year earlier from a stroke, ironically just after my mother has gotten her divorce papers after about a year of court procedures). I admit, it was crowed at our apartment, but for us it was not crowed enough. We had to leave my grandmother  and my aunt's husband behind, because they didn't want to leave their houses. Leaving your house back then meant almost certainly losing it to either the soldiers or the refugees.
We have spent a great year together, I must say. My little sister, who is 7 years younger than me, had her nices to play with. I was the big sister, helping the adults, baby sitting the children, and most of all studying, studying, studying.
This is also a year my mother has met her second husband and my future stepdad. Wonderful, kind, smart, person, who my sister and I have accepted at the second we met him.
What hurts me the most telling this story is actually the fact that my nices, who are now over 20 still look back at that time as the most steady, plentyful, carefree time of their lifes. Not because they were young, but because that was the richest time of their life. After a year they had to go back home to the ruines, bits and pieces that were left after the war. How could I know then that the next time, I will see all of them together again will be 14 years later, when I went back to Georgia to bury our grandmother?